Not everyone is here to seek spiritual growth,
but everyone is here for personal growth.
Did you know?
Stuckness is the state of being unable to move or progress; the feeling of being stuck. However, feeling or being stuck just means that you are stuck in that very particular direction or step, and not able to see the way forward yet – the new and mostly very rewarding and different next step. So, a new perspective, a new approach, or even something as simple as an inspiring action on how to move forward will quiet the feeling of stuckness – or release it totally. When moving forward, you will feel lighter and more driven to do something (new), to progress with this great new idea and feel that the energy is back because you can make it happen again. If you feel stuck, calm your mind, or totally distract yourself from the issue – until you get an inspired idea on how to solve it (take a shower, go for a run, or take a nap). If it’s a bigger issue, you may want to talk it through with someone; someone non-judgmental, objective and experienced enough to let you talk and then find your solution. Sometimes they have a good question or even a good idea on how to proceed, grow and leave the stuckness behind.
There is literally no rush to anything. The rush, the busyness and the high speed are artificially introduced into our lives by our surroundings, society’s (and out own!) expectations, capitalism etc. When we understand that “the process is key”, we will understand that it’s meant to be an enjoyable journey. So, what is this ominous, magical “process”? It’s very easy, apparently: It’s just life – its living life to the fullest and not rushing to the end. Yes, the end is heaven, but it’s also death. So, why rush there?! Enjoy the process which consists of learning and growing which, you gather “walking joyfully” along it; it’s the challenges which you must master; it’s the joy, wins and fulfillment you will experience while on it – and its many more positive and “negative” things and emotions. “The process” is gathering them all with a positive attitude. It’s about enjoying all that life throws at you – and striving – in your very individual process – to become the best version of yourself, step by step, continuous and more rewarding. So, there is no rush – as there is no rush to eat your most favorite food as fast as possible. It’s about enjoying the magic of flavor on your tongue as long as possible. So, at best, you choose to walk a path, a journey, with the least resistance, highest amount of joy, happiness, fulfillment, and abundance crammed into each and every life structure. And there is no limit to it. So, there is no end of growing into and with it. Granted, sometimes you can sprint to intermediate goals – why not? But don’t forget it’s about enjoying the process, not the end-result. And yes, life is a marathon but not an exhausting marathon where you push yourself like an athlete does (only in the race!) – it’s meant to be a “marathon of joy, bliss, happiness, love, passion, creation, learning …” All you wish; and all you need, to grow.
When coaching, I always say, “Don’t give up. Go ahead, a few steps more.” Why? In the beginning it can feel that you “do a lot”, but you don’t see the rapid changes you want to have now. I can almost guarantee that you will feel differently and better after each and every coaching session, but it’s not quite there yet, not completely what you want. However, there is a magic sweet spot in personal development, when you start doing it in a focused way. It will come in after about 3 months. Then, you will rather feel pulled by the bright future of a feeling-better version of yourself than pushing yourself forward to your dream state. This tipping point you can image as the standard e-curve (with input X) where you see small input and small output at the beginning, but when moving forward, the input – same amount of incremental input – bigger output is generated.
For sure, everyone’s e-curve looks different, but everyone has a point where output will exceed the investment. Passing that point, you will never give up personal development again because it feels so rewarding. It gives you more output than you had put into the equation. That’s something to look forward to.
Get started today and let the ball create its momentum while it is rolling down the hill.
Nowadays, we are using the term “crisis” exponentially. We use it for almost everything which is not 100% in line what we wish for – even our empty-phone-battery-crisis, which is real when being that highly dependent on phones. Native Americans have the saying “All comes and is, as it should have come and as it should be. All is perfect as it is…” Have you ever thought that nature embraces crises to grow and move forward as a whole?
Why should you embrace a crisis? Because it’s just a natural part of moving forward. It shows you where a model/ a part of the model is outdated and needs an update – “a new coat of paint.” However, sometimes that’s not enough. Sometimes we have not been paying attention – consciously or subconsciously – to what needs a refresher until it needs a fundament overhaul. Like with rust on iron. When it’s small, it’s easy to fix. If you let it grow too much, it’s a lot of work to repair it.
So, if you let it slip until it’s time for an overhaul of the base, it’s the whole foundation. We all do that, most often as we are busy with our daily life and meeting others’ expectations. That’s when it becomes a crisis – or a “mid-life crisis”, if the basis is your own life.
I guess mid-life crises got named that because formerly people got engaged and had kids in their late teens or early 20s and were so focused on getting all daily things done – keeping the wheel turning – that they forgot to take care of their own personal development and (more often) making their real inner desires possible. Then, around their mid-40s, kids left home, and it got calmer. You had time to think –and suddenly thew revelation hits you hard that you missed out on something during the last 20 years or so, taking care of everyone else. Men and woman alike, but often with different things in focus. So, the rust had time to attack the foundation heavily. Now a repair is no longer enough – you need an exchange. Small changes don’t do it anymore. It’s too clear that you need and want to overhaul everything.
Today, we see the same thing, BUT, people get this feeling far, far earlier, because we commit later to relationships, kids/no kids, or buying a home not at all. So instead of working up to meet expectation for the next 20 years, you have time to think and reflect in you mid-20s – and often this is when the “mid-life crisis” strikes. It’s not “mid-life” as per definition of age, but as a definition of fundamental questioning – so it’s the same, in my opinion, just earlier (luckily!) – to make major adjustments to life and (also) fulfill true inner desires.
So, the next time someone in their mid-20s says to you, “I feel I have a mid-life crisis”, you can soothe them and say, “No, it’s a wakeup call to follow your true inner desires, instead of blindly following the currently instilled model. You subconsciously question it as it is outdated for you. Go ahead and enjoy the process! Lucky that you got it with 26 and not 46!”
If you are not sure whether you are on the right track yourself, ask yourself from time to time: Am I truly fulfilled, deep-down? No? Then change it – life is too short and too wonderful for waiting.
Another good indicator in my opinion is, if you enjoy sarcasm or any kind of black humor. I think that is just a very particular way to complain about particular things – if not about the whole world. And that sounds to me very much like “being unhappy and unfulfilled”.
Using the 4 life structures I stated in my book, I recommend starting with World 1 to 3, and leaving world 4 out, until you’re ready for it (which is, when you have something to give freely, which you never feel lacking in or depletion from)
1) World of thought: Firstly, create the picture of your very specific and detailed “Future You” – your future identity. Paint the “Future You” beautifully and authentically on a paper and state things like what you look like, how you feel, where you are, which traits and characteristics you possess, what you have now that you had admired in others before, etc. Don’t forget to include high self-esteem, courage, and tremendous amount of self-love into the picture – it’s the basis to walking your own path and, hence, for a successful life. Secondly, find out and release what’s holding you back to reach your vision – your master plan for yourself. Resolve your most pressuring subconscious blockages and enjoy self-love on the way. Thirdly, create a list of your minor and major success stories as well as what you love about yourself to really increase your own perception of your self-worth. As long as you don’t believe – or even better, know – that you are worth it, you will struggle to let it in. Fourthly, don’t forget it’s a never-ending journey, so stay open and curious to what’s lined up for you next.
2) Private world: It’s such a well-known fact that we are the average of the 5 people who surround us the most. Why then, do so many stick to the same toxic people over and over again? Because it’s easier said than done. One major factor is, that we are dependent on the approval of others – in particular from the people who we let close to us, including those who always have been there, like our parents. If we experienced unpleasant things in our childhood (I recommend following XXX on Instagram. There is so much to it, that I leave the point here), we have subconscious routines running to handle things. They are not bad nor good – they just help/ed us along the way to cope with things. However, even though they served us well back then, they do not necessarily serve us today. Hence, these unhealed childhood wounds often trigger in us all – often externally – what defines/ or diminishes our self-worth. Having your people/friends/family around you, while having your subconscious programs running makes you naturally seek validation from outside. Hence, you are dependent on them. And, that’s why it’s hard to just let go of people who are toxic, as they often trigger that automatic program that make us feel like “home”. When you get that, and work on your self-worth and subconscious blockages as mentioned in Step 1, you will feel who serves your new version better – and who doesn’t. Then it will become easier to let go, step by step, of one toxic person after another in your life – while building up your new identity and world. (And yes, if you transform and people around your/ your partner/ your family is not willing to grow with you – even just a tiny bit, you can grow apart, but its peaceful and friendly as you know it’s about you and your “Future You, not them.)
3) World of education and career: That’s the area where you can probably take quite large and quick quantum leaps towards your “Future You”. It’s the easiest to leave behind a toxic job which frustrates you, where you do not feel happy or that you belong there anymore.
When you sit down and get the steps done, you can change – and totally upgrade – your current unsatisfying job within 3-6 months to a fulfilling career which excites you. I have already accompanied many people during this process, and none of them failed once they
- knew their superpowers and strengths to define a job description that matches them perfectly
- worked on their career-limiting subconscious blockages, and
- prepared correctly for the job they wanted.
If you are on fire to quantum leap forward now, contact me and we can make it happen in the next few months. It’s never too late to start something new – and there has never been a better moment to start than now.
Yes, I need to admit that there are certain personality types who are more prone to have a higher self-esteem than others per se, but it’s not true that someone with a low one cannot change that. Let me tell you my story so you can see that I did it myself and so can you. I grew up in a very introverted family, so I was super shy. I was so shy that I did not speak in groups even at university at the age of 21. I even became a mathematician because I loved the numbers – well, letters – and rational stuff I could do with my head. If someone saw me today, they could not even image the timid little mouse I was back then.
As life happens, I went on a 3-month exchange to Brazil during my undergrad studies. There, everyone is so open, friendly, and social – so much so that I went from cultural shock (I wanted to fly back the same day I had arrived), to eventually going there again to become more social/extroverted (I wanted to see how far I could go). It took me 3 years to get back there for 6 months and a few more years to truly reveal my treasure of self-esteem. Back then, self-development was rare and regarded as spiritual hocus-pocus. It’s definitely how we grew up and which behavior we think is “normal” for us. When you see that, it’s about why and how you are motivated to change it to become the version you want to be. Back then, I was very, very, very motivated (the reasons feel a bit off today, but – hey – it was back then), when I saw that all successful and wealthy people have a high self-esteem.
I wanted what all of them had: the success, money, pride, the way they carried themselves, the gorgeous partner, the supercar, the CEO-title – you name it!
So, how did I get started? Even though the process is very individual, I think some things hold true for everyone. If you want more self-esteem for the good reason alone of feeling better, more grounded and “more worthy”, work on these three things, and in this order:
- unshakable self-acknowledgement of superpowers and strengths (get all internal & external resources together that you need to build that up),
- self-acceptance of flaws (so that they cannot hinder you so much anymore),
- practice, practice, practice your eloquence (to speak your mind, to become more quick-witted, to hold power over your voice despite nervousness, etc.).
Are you ready for unleashing the bold, courageous lion that you are? Ping me! I will show you how you can achieve it while staying true to yourself as a heart-centered, feminine, warm, and gentle person. Both together is the really sweet deal.
There is not much more to say about that, than “give it a try”. Try this stuff out to make your life easier – by far. If you understand that energy is the driving force of the Universe, hence, literally everything, you understand that you need to work on the energy you emanate. Leveling it up will level up your life.
How do you now know which energy you radiate? Check-in into your emotions. What do you really feel (not your fake front; you cannot fake your actual energy)? That’s what you push into the quantum field, and what you will attract (see next bullet) and bring to you. The good thing is it’s in your power – in yours alone. And don’t accept the blamer and shamer who finger points to others besides themselves. It’s always you. Because it’s always up to you. And that’s super-good news! Yeah, because that means you – and only you – can shape your world as you wish to.
Are you still on the search for your soul tribe or your physical lover? Let me tell you one thing which made the difference for me: Focus on the positive (future) emotions before it has happened – and ignore that it is currently absent. You read correctly. It sounds counterintuitive for the first moment, but only because we have been trained our whole life to be observers of our environment that has physical shape.
But did you ever watch the following physical experiment? You take three different tuning forks. Two are alike, one is different. Now, you put two that differ next to each other and hit one so that it makes a loud noise. What will happen? Yeah, you can guess. Only the one you hit will make a noise and vibrate. Let’s alter the experiment. Take the two forks that are the same frequency (which convert into humans trained into a consistent emotional frequency), place them next to each other, with a little distance between them. Hit one as you did before, without touching the other one. What happens next is often unexpected. The second tuning fork starts to vibrate too. Yes, it’s literally vibrating. (If you don’t believe it, call up the experiment).
So, what does this little experiment tell us? We attract, keep, and vibrate with others who are on the same frequency – not on a different one. So, two question arise. Which frequency do I vibrate on, and on which do I want to vibrate on (check out “consciousness scale”) as you will go into resonance with whatever vibe you are predominantly giving out.
Try this, and your life will change; magic will happen. Research it, and make it work for you – it’s a universal law. The law of attraction.
Why we are so trained to compete, instead to inspire, cheerlead and motivate ourselves, together with others, towards achievements? That thought was carrying me a