Dare to be bold?

And it happened again. I conversed with this nice guy, on a date to be precise, and he just blurted out, “You’re quite bold.”

At first, I was like, “Oh cool, thanks!” But then I noticed a look in his eyes that was kind of like – if I didn’t know better – fear. Not fear of me, of course, but fear of daring to be as bold as I was. And it’s not the first time I’ve been called bold either. But honestly, I don’t feel particularly bold. It’s more like when someone is naturally strong, they don’t feel that strong all the time. They just are.

I remember my business coach saying something similar in 2020. We were discussing my service portfolio and my niche. Suddenly, he compared me to a lion. He said that in his mind he sees me as a lion – bold and confident. At first, I was like, “A lion, huh?” You know, I’ve always felt like I have more wolf-like qualities than lion-like ones. My pack and I are loyal creatures, strategists, and conquerors. And when it comes to relationships, I’m all about being monogamous. That whole lioness-sharing thing just doesn’t vibe with me – at all. Anyway, I tried to see what he meant because it was all about business. And it’s always good to acknowledge and integrate one’s natural superpowers, particularly into one’s services portfolio. But I didn’t because I did not particularly see it as something special. Maybe because I just was.

Honestly, I didn’t realize this clearly until I started coaching a particular bold Coachee. She was one of my most fearless clients, and one day she told me that my bold, badass attitude greatly inspired her to become bolder. That stuck in my head and made me think. It made me think about how often I may have overlooked a particular strength of mine – my superpower – because I saw it as normal. I know that I use all my abilities naturally while helping others to go after what they want, daring to be greater than their fears, and doing what it takes to turn their desires into reality.

So, you know how I always seem to be so bold and fearless? Well, it’s not just because I’m awesome (although that definitely helps 😉). Jokes aside, there are a few things that made me this way. For sure, my personality type (ENTJ-A) plays a role. Plus, growing up in an environment where I had to fight to get what I wanted. If not, I wouldn’t have had it.

But the biggest lever that made me bold – and keeps me bold – is that I learned how to overcome my fears and keep striving for what I want. I am constantly chasing after what I want, and the dream keeps getting bigger and bigger. For that, I push myself to become better than I am right now. This continuous cycle of pushing myself further outside my comfort zone keeps continuously showing me that I can. That I can overcome my fears and do what needs to be done. And that’s exactly what I assist my coaching clients with. By defining big goals, we get out of their comfort zone. By breaking them down into manageable steps, they obtain a certain level of security as they know the path ahead. And by being there for them when things get messy, they feel safe enough to be bolder than their old selves.

In the end, it’s all about being “bold enough” to take the first small step outside of the comfort zone. Then it becomes “bold enough” to continuously overcome one’s fears and thereby build a higher and higher resistance to unconscious fears. Over time, there will be no goal that one cannot tackle, meaning no fear is big enough to hold one back from going after it.

So, if you want to be bolder and more confident, start small. Being bold is all about being bigger than your fears. Start with a small fear and face it. Overcome it. Even if you’re currently scared, just do it anyway. Once you’ve conquered that small fear (maybe you need more than one successful example), move on to a slightly bigger one. You’ll be surprised how quickly you can become bolder. Most of my clients need around six months to start chasing after their dreams on their own. As you collect these small victories, you’ll gain the courage to chase after all of your dreams – all by yourself.

Boldness is a skill, and it can be built just like any other skill, by learning and repetition. As said, it’s all about doing things despite feeling fear of the unknown. It’s normal to feel it but just push through it.

So, tell me, what instills fear within you?

• Seeking a higher salary from your employer?
• Relocating to an unfamiliar territory?
• Starting an unpleasant discussion with a cherished acquaintance?

No matter the obstacle, choose to face it head-on. Let your courage roar like a lion as you pursue your aspirations.

Go Lion.