Have you ever just decided to pack all your stuff, leave your home county without a return date or a fixed contract of employment that would comfortably pad your wallet?
Me neither, until some weeks ago.
Guys, I have just pushed myself a bit far with my latest move. At least, for the first 6 weeks, it felt like a fighting, unrelenting and untamable beast.
I always thought of myself as a brave woman; a very brave women afraid of nothing; with an unbeatable discipline when applied; a woman with an incredible drive to get things done.
I had that confidence, which had grown over only the last 2 years while becoming an author and being self-employed. This was even during COVD-times when Europe (at least DE) seemingly fell in into a Sleeping Beauty slumber and petrified shock, while I jumped from one exciting adventure to another. From one country to another and from one idea to another. My goal was to find something even more exciting — a new mission — I feel fully committed to. An even more “dangerously” exciting advent.
Well, I had not wrapped my mind around the possible downside, such as getting into a rather emotionally exhausting journey.
Anyways, even though I value stability and long-term planning as much as many other humans, adventures demand spontaneity.
So, yes! On 28 April 2022, I was very spontaneous and committed to the “crazy idea” to lay the foundation for my own boutique consulting company not in Germany — but in Dubai. “Wenn schon, denn schon” (If at all, then all-in) I thought to myself. In a flash, late afternoon on that day, I hired an agency to get rolling; I transferred a decent amount to their bank account, so there was no way back for me.
And yes, you’ve guessed it, of course I did not jump in completely head-over-heals; I tested the water previously when residing in Dubai for the first time in March & April 2022, while I had the absolute privilege to work in Riyad for 8 weeks.
Not to make my move seem easy or small — emigrating is still a different scenario.
Well, by now I have had the pleasure of being called everything between “absolutely crazy” to “amazingly inspiring”, and I want to share 3 things which I struggled with most, which I had never thought of — and luckily overcame within the last 8 weeks:
- Feeling financially insecure. Sure, it’s a big step! I have some money on the side BUT it’s a totally new game if you do not have a fixed employment contract AND you feel there is no way back (for me, mostly maybe because of the childhood feeling of “shame of failure”).
- Feeling burnt-out from lack of life structure. I was traveling so much during the last 18 months that I forgot how “boring” it can be just to settle in and do normal stuff. Here in Dubai, I have started to enjoy cooking, participating in a regular dancing class and training with a personal trainer. However, there is a huge difference between being on vacation & in exploration mode having at home a friend circle and the usual things to do and starting and settling into a new life. Calculate that in.
- Feeling being not understood. I think that’s my biggest one. When I started doing things, which no one in my whole close network has done before, I got the feeling nobody truly understands me (anymore). That created a deep feeling of loneliness in me, and hence a feeling of not being loved.
Every single point is tough on its own, and together they made me feeling small and powerless (a feeling I am not used to).
Now, having overcome the paralysis caused by these feelings — some by generating business opportunities/ contracts, others by dealing with these emotions to heal them and with hypnotherapy to get rid of the subconscious blocks where these irrational feelings resided — I feel far more energetic again, my logical mind is back on full speed, and I am really proud of myself, having walked the talk. To say it with the words of a 52-year-old sales telecommunications representative I’ve just met: Sabrina, you must have really big b*lls having done that.
Yo bro, I do. At least in a metaphorical way. 😉
I guess that’s not the standard report you expected from an emigrant, but perhaps because of that, more helpful.