“I create my own reality.”

Who hasn’t heard that phrase? Especially from people close to “spirituality.” But most often from oneself. In particular, during those nervous, anxious, slightly fearful times? Those times, which I can remember so well, not trusting it to be true; hearing myself preaching that mantra over and over again to help me through those times? While still not (really) trusting that it is the truth, nor that I can, because I trusted more in the so-well-known fear that ‘the worst case will happen.’

We all know all those times. But the really annoying ones are when someone else tells you that phrase while the shit hits the fan. I can almost hear my old self sing; Oh yeah, boy? I created that shitty relationship? That underpaid job? That sassy neighbor? I created that someone crashed into my car? Yeah sure. You, too!

But it was one of those times when I began to truly question that phrase and tried to get behind the truth of it. The time when I hit rock bottom. When I thought nothing could have gone worse. A time of feeling powerless and small. This time was what helped me into the process of generating a new understanding of “reality creation,” or better said, I was forced to overhaul my understanding and acknowledge that I create my own reality – the good and the bad.

Retrospectively, I must say, I appreciate that phase a lot. It was the first time I started to learn that 3D actions are important, but that internal alignment comes first. And I created that rock bottom in 3D because I was soooo not aligned with what I wanted. At least, what I thought I wanted.

Let me share a bit more detail of that story to allow you insights into the process of how I began to change to understand that “I create my own reality.” In the best case, my experience can help you to transfer it to your situation; in the worst case, I had quite some joy writing it 🙂 because – to be honest- , the best part of the change is not the result itself but the satisfaction in observing having it done and choosing to continue doing it. Let’s start with the “it.” The “it” is not a particular 3D goal, such as changing a job, making more money, or finding the perfect partner. It is – was, and will be – about changing an outdated belief by realizing that it no longer serves me well. Of course, serving me well in my path of experiencing the highest joy, excitement, love, passion, etc. in 3D and its nice manifestations as a natural side effect of inner alignment.

Rock bottom supports the realization of exactly that: that inner alignment to those values and feelings can be achieved no matter what the outer environment/reality looks like. When you have nothing to lose, why struggle further? Why fight? Why fear? That was what happened. I accepted what is outside of me as it is, yet without making an emotional fuss out of it. Believe me, it took a while to do so. Stop blaming myself, stop regretting actions, stop pondering what I could have done differently. What I should (!) have done differently, which only kept me focusing on what is negative in the Now. Which, in return, kept my emotions limited to a few negative ones. Life sucked greatly. I tried to change the past instead of creating a new future. Fears of repeating the same failures kept me stuck in the rut, too. It was a closed cycle, like a hamster wheel. Running that path just kept it going faster – faster, down the emotional spiral.

But then it struck me. Not out of any God-given insight – maybe it was – but the sheer exhaustion of fighting against the past. And I recognized it for what it was: A fight against windmills. In retrospect, I can see I realized I can’t wish to change the past to be now in a different situation. I can only act NOW differently to create a different future. But then, I was just exhausted from fighting. Exhausted from trying. So, I made a radical decision: I accepted what is. I surrendered.

After that, I followed Abraham Hicks’ suggestion to just be happy – now and with what is. During the first weeks, I felt like a fake. Chanting happy thoughts, smiling, and praising little things like they are shiny golden bars, while my old thoughts intruded continuously and reminded me of the regret I should feel. I persisted with the other path because what else was there to do? The other path did not lead me to happily-ever-after.

I think it was in month 3 of the happy-Sabrina-no-matter-what-journey when I started to forgive myself and let go of regret. The moment it was done, it felt like the world tilted (switching timelines feels to me like that). And with that, I started to notice changes in the outer world, realizing (again) that internal change has to come first. We all have heard it before, but going against my old nature to bang things into place, to force outcomes with 3D action, and to persist when I hit a wall – I learned that internal changes do create significant outer changes. My mantra changed to “with ease and flow, or I don’t want it at all,” which I am still sticking to while having it combined with inspired action and passionate effort.

What you want, wants you right back.

The journey led me to see that if I truly desire it – meaning without the fear of conforming, fulfilling someone else’s expectations, or pleasing, which is all an internal job to release – it’s meant for me. I realized I am drawn to things, places, and ideas that are in line with my chosen soul path/life template. No matter how you want to call it, I know when I am interested in something, if something sparks interest, or just speaks to me in a calm, peaceful moment, it’s meant to be followed.

What separates me from having it is my mental construct. My collection of beliefs. Some of them are very helpful to achieve desired outcomes – others are not. However, all beliefs serve a purpose, which took me some time because it seemed odd that negative beliefs have a purpose. Yet if they did not, one could let them go easily. To illustrate, listen to that self-analysis of this lady here (link, minute). She thinks she is open to having a loving relationship, yet she is in none. Dropping shame & fear, she easily can see how the negative belief wants to keep her safe (by avoiding being rejected by a potential partner) and hence out of a romantic relationship in the first place. At first, it sounds totally contradictory to believe one thing – I want a relationship – and the other – I don’t want to get into one because I will be rejected – simultaneously. Yet we do, as she did. Nowadays, it is often referred to or depicted as the conscious and subconscious mind. Formerly, I was buying into that definition too. By listening to Bashar, it changed. I changed my definition because subconscious belief implied to me that it’s hard to change; that it’s to fix; in fact, hard to realize it’s there and takes a lot of time to change. (The woman’s self-analysis clearly shows it mustn’t be.) By changing my definition to just two beliefs: The conscious, a belief I want to tell myself just more openly, and the subconscious, a belief that I try to avoid thinking of.

Her example shows it pretty clearly; it can be easy, and with that, the change in the definition, I allowed myself to find and change those beliefs as easily as she did. The start of it demands only one thing: Courage. Courage to shed light on the darkness. But it’s not that scary at all. After revealing a show once, I realized to my own astonishment (and history of self-growth) that once you put light on the darkness, the darkness is, in fact, gone. Standing in the light, I wondered why I was afraid of it in the first place. With that, courage has done its job.

With each time, it feels more natural to change – almost like exchanging old beliefs with new ones. It gets easier and easier, and I have experienced now multiple times that when I unraveled a negative belief which I had been avoiding putting light on, the moment I revealed its layers to the core, it lost all its power. Multiple times, I couldn’t fathom how I was afraid to look at it in the first place (and all that within one session of sitting down and writing about it). A few times, it was so revealing (maybe freeing) that I was not able to conjure the old negative emotion – often fear – which came before almost naturally. Don’t be afraid to point light into the darkness because the moment it’s fully illuminated, there is, by definition, no darkness left.

As often, the first time is the hardest, like flying for the first time. So, just try it. Maybe with something perceived by you as less “big.” Which is so subjective that I can only provide examples that count for me, but maybe not for you. A huge change – we talk here only about internal changes – was to release the need to fix people & situations; an easier belief to shed was to allow myself to become an author. Both took a while to change, but the felt intensity differed greatly.

Over the years, I saw enough examples that our external environment is a mere reflection of our internal beliefs. As Plato said, “all is mind,” I think he meant: We experience who we believe we are. And we are what we believe. Anyhow, I believe any philosophy needs practical application. Hence, I can only encourage you to keep pointing around with your flashlight into the dark corners of your belief system – in a non-judgmental way and without shame, guilt, fear, or regret. Only then can one allow these beliefs to come to the light. Allow them to be seen by you, and hence allow them to dissolve and be substituted by a new belief.

A positive side effect of this process is that with practice, it becomes faster and faster. I like the phrase Bashar uses: “it gets slippery” (yes, I am currently listening a lot to their videos, so get used to me referring to him/them). Yet, it’s not more rapid, but it allows a great degree of change in a shorter amount of time. My colleague just paraphrased that wonderfully without knowing it: “In one week, your entire life changes.” My answer to him was, “Yours can too. If you allow it.”

Those changes that seemed hard at the beginning of the illumination process are now fun. Fun to conduct. Fun to see how I change day by day, looking back and thinking it must have been months, yet it’s been on the clock a mere week. But mostly, it is absolutely satisfying – so deliciously satisfying – to consciously change internally. In fact, I realized it’s the satisfaction of the observer in me; the one who observes the end-to-end process of belief change: 1. wanting, 2. setting an intention, 3. allowing to release an old belief & to substitute it with a better-fitting one, and 4. harvesting the 3D result. This observer in me is extremely pleased with watching it unfold. I can’t imagine how pleased a soul/higher self must be; what I can tell is my mere-puny-human-self-observer is extremely pleased with already the first three steps, while my 3D experiencing self is very happy about the feeling of relief, and surely enough with the delicious 3D reflections. It’s a very intoxicating mix.

So, the saying “I can create my own reality” is indeed knowing that I create my own reality. Hence, actively releasing what does not serve me anymore and substituting these with beliefs that serve me better, and by that, enjoy the feeling of relief by letting go of an outdated belief and harvesting the satisfaction about the change process.